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Old 06-09-2010, 03:11 AM
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idealist idealist is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Deep South
Posts: 543

Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit View Post
What thoughts/experiences do YOU have to explain this ??
It would appear that you ladies have as much - or more - to gain from embracing such lovestyles. From your writing you are glowing in your choices. That being the case, what do you think is the sticking point ? Is it simply education ?
I'm not sure, but this is what I can say about myself and since I'm female, it may say something about woman in general. First of all, I have not been a "sheeple" or blind follower. I pride myself on the ability to think for myself. When things don't make sense for me anymore, I abandon them. But, even has taken me until the age of 52 to find out about polyamory and embrace it. It was about 12 years ago when I said to a friend for the first time "I'm not sure I believe in monogomy any more. It does not seem to be very practical or realistic" But, there was no option presenting itself to me at the time and so I began to create a whole new lifestyle for myself. When I found out about polyamory, I knew I had found my answer.

I do think that women are especially vulnerable and prone to buying into the fairy tale images as well as the love songs and movies about love and how you have to find "the one" and how "I am nothing without you" and "I can't live without you" and all of those codependent ideas that our culture puts on us. The white dress and the whole wedding ritual with promises of "till death do us part" are the things that women tend to cling to with some amount of desperation at times which can be almost embarrasing.

There are a lot of men who still desire (or think they desire) monogamy, but men don't cling to it like women do. It seems to me that you can talk most men out of the idea of monogamy by painting a picture of a polyamorous lifestyle. But women are not so easy.

It's a definate reality..... I'm not sure I completely understand why, but I guess it's a combination of cultural brainwashing and lack of an alternative vision that people can hold on to and strive for.

I would be willing to bet that within 50 years, Polyamory will be the normal lifestyle with monogamy being the minority.
The key to life is in being fully engaged and peacefully detached simultaneously and authentically in each moment.
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