Originally Posted by SeekerOfTruth
I want to express my deepest thanks to everyone who has posted here. I thought that unsure feeling in my gut was simply me being stubborn or struggling to find some way to place blame on her, but a great deal of what everyone is saying here is stuff that reflects what my own friends have said to some degree, if explained better, and I find myself acknowledging the truth of a lot of it. Last night I ignored her calls and texts and went to bed pretty angry at the idea that I've been submitting to abuse the past year and two months, and I sent her a letter this morning telling her I was upset and would tell her later why I hadn't cheated on her and why her actions have been emotionally abusive. Again, thank you so much everyone for what you've said.
One question I do have, though...what's the best way to proceed from here?
I'm glad and, unfortunately didn't read this until after I posted the last post
The best way to proceed would be to put your thoughts down on paper so you don't forget them when you talk to her about what's going on. If you decided to end things with her stick to your guns. Change your phone number if you have to but, IF you decide to end things, don't give in to her whining and whimpering & "poor me, i'm so angry at you. Why and I not the center of your universe any more?" and drama! You are your own person and as such have the right to your own feelings and your own life.
As I mentioned this morning I was I was in an emotionally & mentally abusive marriage for nearly ten years. It wasn't easy to end things, to give stuff up, but in the end my mental and emotional stability have thanked me for it constantly since then.
Please keep us posted on how things are going. As you have found out there is a rich fount of information and support on here.