I want to express my deepest thanks to everyone who has posted here. I thought that unsure feeling in my gut was simply me being stubborn or struggling to find some way to place blame on her, but a great deal of what everyone is saying here is stuff that reflects what my own friends have said to some degree, if explained better, and I find myself acknowledging the truth of a lot of it. Last night I ignored her calls and texts and went to bed pretty angry at the idea that I've been submitting to abuse the past year and two months, and I sent her a letter this morning telling her I was upset and would tell her later why I hadn't cheated on her and why her actions have been emotionally abusive. Again, thank you so much everyone for what you've said.
One question I do have, though...what's the best way to proceed from here?