Originally Posted by sage
There is the issue of judgement...i.e do we judge a potential partner on their behaviour with others before we decide whether we want to engage with them? I do believe that people are generally only as honest as others will allow them to be.
I think there is a slight difference between judging someone and choosing not to participate in something. For example, I disagree with cheating and choose not to participate in it whether in my own relationship or as the partner of someone who is. I do not say "You are wrong!" I say, "I'm sorry, I can not participate in that."
As for "judging" a partner of their behavior with others? I know people change and are capable of making major changes in their life. But you can also think of it this way. If you have a litter of puppies that you are giving away, would you give them to someone who you have seen or who has admitted to abusing their pets? If you have love to give someone and they have a record of abusing love given to them by others, it is a very tough decision as to whether or not to take that chance.