I asked my fiancÚ, and he acquiesced to me contacting the girl in question. She and I exchanged a few emails back and forth, and I felt instantly better. I mean, instantaneous. She and the fiancÚ were both in the Rocky Horror cast in our city at various times, so I suggested we could all meet up and go see it sometime, as I've still never been! (A 24 year old virgin... Woof!) I am very interested in meeting her. I know I won't be a horse's ass in person. I'm far too polite when face to face. She's also interested in watching David Lynch movies, so I invited her over for a movie night sometime as well.
And we talked about the safe sex issues yet again. I was a lot more blunt about my concerns, (sometimes it's a matter of really, really
driving a point home that I feel shouldn't have to be spelled about, but whatcanyado?,) and he did promise to wrap it up. For the record, I do use dental dams. I got a bunch of em from Planned Parenthood some months back, well before we even decided to open up our relationship. And I use gloves for vaginal perforation. Note to those reading: do NOT, I repeat, do NOT use those yellow, rubber kitchen gloves for kinky funtimes. The texturized groove on the fingertips is super abrasive!
But yeah, things are looking up. After going on a few lousy dates with flaky and/or crazy girls, I spoke with a "male" friend of mine just fresh out of a relationship. ("Male" because he's also genderqueer/trans-ish/gender fluid -- a major plus!) He and I finally spoke of a mutual interest in each other, (he's one of my tattoo clients, and we've both been in relationships, so I've been hesitant to say anything,) so who knows? We might both wind up dating someone of the opposite sex. Crazier things have happened. Maybe that, too will help me feel less psycho.
And we have considered finding the wily and elusive unicorn for ourselves, but I know how rare a species they are, and are probably best left to more ambitious poachers
If something like that were to fall into our laps, great, but it's not something I'm actively seeking. I dated a girl that my fiancÚ and I had a few threesomes with, but she's a (very open-minded) lesbian, so it amounted more to me doing stuff to both of them, them doing stuff to me, him doing some
stuff to her, but she wanted nothing to do with him. It was pretty awkward. I dunno... Like I said, if it stumbles into our path, cool, if not, cool.