Originally Posted by sage
I hear what you are all saying, I do mostly agree with it and as a result haven't pursued the relationship. But there is a part of me that thinks along the lines of Schro's Cat re everyone being responsible for their own behaviour. There is the issue of judgement...i.e do we judge a potential partner on their behaviour with others before we decide whether we want to engage with them? I do believe that people are generally only as honest as others will allow them to be.
You might have to go with it to find out for yourself....sometimes it's good to get advice, but you have to make your own decisions. The way I usually handle things like this is by saying to myself. "Okay- I realize the danger in this if I make this decision to move forward. But, I'm going to go with it anyway. And if things go bad, I will take full responsibility for it. I will not blame the other people or person for any suffering I have to experience. I will remember that I went into this with full awareness and knowing the risk." I hate acting or feeling like a victim.......