Yesterday, in my "female identified responsible non-monogamous group",,, otherwise known as "the women's group," we talked about groups and the sense of belonging in them. We talked about Lesbians and the bridge that seems to need to be built between the poly community and the Lesbian community and how sometimes we just don't feel like we "fit" anywhere because these bridges aren't built yet or are in the process of being built.
The point is that we are a group of "ourselves." I am the group of "redpepper." Yes I am in a lovely tribe, that ripples out into other tribes, but I am a group of me and then a group of my two men and then in a group of Derby and my tersiary, then in a group of friends in the community and then in a group of the community I am in and then out in the larger poly world, including on here.
Sometimes there are over laps and sometimes they are distant from each other. They eb and flow as everything does in life and depending on what is going on and what I am doing myself in my group of one.
It seems we have poly relationships with tribes as well as people. It's great in that there is so much input. On the other hand, it can also feel like its forced on us to be involved with another tribe when we don't want to be. Kind of like dating someone when we don't want to... (how that happens I'm not sure
). It's different in this way, but then I have people in my life that I wouldn't chose to have, but have to. Tribes are a whole other level and a whole other interest level involved. Still, at least ones needs have an opportunity to have different people in our lives.
I am thinking of poly parties I have been to where there are different tribes there that overlap with lovers and they kind of stand around looking at each other and observing to see how other people are doing and what the flavour is of that tribe. Sometimes in terms of wanting to be involved with someone in the tribe, or just to point out differences and commonalities. It's like the tribes are people...
Jeez, I hope this makes sense... kind of still thinking on it.