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Old 06-07-2010, 10:26 PM
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MrDreadful MrDreadful is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Swindon, Wilts, UK
Posts: 131
Default Mr. Dreadful's Poly Blog

Well, why not?

Doing It Properly

After careful consideration, and much discussion with Mrs D, I have decided that the first relationship I will work on is the one I'm already in. It may seem like common sense, but for various reasons I've not possessed a lot of that about this whole thing... we've had our problems - what couple hasn't? - but various negative behaviour patterns on my part have exacerbated things rather a lot and, frankly, didn't put either of us in a position where polyamory would even slightly be a Good Idea.

I will openly admit here and now that I have made two serious fuck ups on my journey. One was the unreasonable pursuit of someone who wasn't actually interested in me and was already too close a friend to Mrs D to make my having a relationship with them at all comfortable for her. The other was an accidental failure at being open and honest (accidental because it was omission caused by lack of clarity rather than any genuine desire to hide things) with what I was doing with someone else (nothing physical, I hasten to add) which was worsened when it turned out that a lot of people already thought I was already having an illicit affair with the person in question. I think a large part of the issue was that I somewhat gave the impression that I was only after sex in another relationship... I admit that I would like a second relationship to involve some amount of sex, but that certainly wouldn't be the be all and end all, I have no real interest in casual sex or a relationship that's based on nothing else.

But anyway, less of the negative dwelling-on-the-past stuff. I am going to work really hard on making my relationship with Mrs D as awesome as possible, 'cause we both reckon that's the only way polyamory is ever going to work for us... Mrs D will remain mono for the forseeable future but if that future is all roses and smiles she'll be a lot less concerned that my entering into a second relationship will cause problems within ours. We went on a date tonight... an actual date... we've not done that in ages. I'm so happy and so optimistic right now.

On a not-entirely-unrelated note: is it weird that if I did embark on another relationship with another woman I'd much prefer any first 'date' to be a day out at a museum or art gallery than drinks or a romantic meal?
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