Thank you, phoenix. I hope things work out for us too, and it starts to look like they might. We had a heart to heart just yesterday, and talked about how she had a rather rational personality, was sometimes distant, and how I was often pretty passionate about a lot of different things, and I suddenly asked her, being how different we are, how did she think she looked to me, from my eyes?
She made several guesses that weren't bad guesses, but I finally told her, "You look out of love, Dear." "What?" "You look and act like you're out of love." That floored her, brought her to complete silence. I stammered out that I'd watched her, it seemed like she'd rather read a book than relate to me. And so......I hadn't - wanted......to intrude on her life anymore.......and it finally got too painful for me to talk.
She was very shocked, took a while to recover, finally came to me to assure me that she did love me. I came to the realization that we speak two different love languages. We need to learn each other's native tongue.
I appreciate your account of your childhood. It couldn't have been much fun to pass along. My wife has never in 17 years mentioned childhood abuse. Of course that can mean nothing. No, my wife's thing is political. She had it against the male political and corporate leaders back in the day for restricting women's advancement. She spelled it out to me last night that no, I'm not that kind of guy, she knows that, loves me for it, is not lumping me with the old-time bastards and good ol' boys.
Phoenix, I hope very much that your sex drive gets better if that's something you want or need. You seem like a nice woman and who could not want the best for you? I have no input beyond best wishes for that. For one thing I'm a guy and our sex drives are very different. Most of us are pretty driven in an imperative sort of way. It's why we're always so damn enthusiastic! Everything best New Friend!