Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit
Yep Emaretta - I suspect (as I said at first) that you are right on.
And I see the other posters have pointed out lots of support for that theory too. From all we can see from your writing it seems pretty typical.
Autumnaltone hits on a lot of sensible likelihoods !
My only caution was just intended to prevent you from making some 'assumptions' - which you seems to be doing - and discovering later that there was some substance to primary - or anyone's - concerns. people usually put on their best faces in the beginning and sometimes uninvolved parties are better at seeing through them because of their distance.
From your writing I'd guess that you are navigating in a particular 'culture' where this kind of crap is pretty much par for the course. A lot of games, backstabbing etc. It is what it is. Hopefully at some point you can extricate yourself from this and attach to a culture where sincerity, honesty and compassion rather than competition are the norm. But until then just watch your back.
yes GS...although we have worked around adult clubs, swingers, etc, our friends are all pretty vanilla mono. We only have one friend that has been living happily with 2 gf's for the last 6 years, yet my primary will not talk to him about his lifestyle. I don't know why. But i have no support network which is why I joined this forum. I wish I had discovered this sooner b/c I have made many mistakes that have made my situation more difficult right now, but I didn't realize I was poly when all of this started, so hind sight is always 20/20. I've found this amazing network now and can only move on from this point forward.