My viewpoint of polyamory may be a bit different from other people. I was in a mentally abusive relationship where I wasn't allowed to have friends of any sort & it was a major accomplishment for me to do groceries by myself! For me poly is about the freedom to have FRIENDS, to be alone when I want or need to be, to be around others when I want or need to be, to NOT have someone policing my every action and word trying to figure out the hidden meaning with everything!
The only good thing to come out of that time in my life is my kids! Well, I guess I did get some insight into myself and what I didn't want in my life but I didn't see it that way at the time.
My POV is changing, slowly, to include other loves and chosen family but I'm not rushing it. I am just enjoying the freedom to be me, a whole me, that can come & go as I please, have friends, have conversations without someone listening in and to have thoughts and feelings and dreams of my own that don't include *do I HAVE to tell him this or can I just go and do it!* I do tell Breathes but that's because I want to, I don't want him to worry. I would have told the ex simply because he would have called me every five minutes until I walked in the door at home because he couldn't stand the thought that I might actually be having *gasp* fun! I might have an original thought &, horror of horrors, might actually have the gall to have a conversation with someone in a place where he couldn't hear it! He's the reason I got my first cell phone. I could actually go outside and away from the house to carry on a conversation! The draw back? He could call me *sigh*. Once I walked in the door he'd grill me about what I did, who I talked to, who said what to and about whom, etc.
Yeah, I'm learning what freedom is really about. I'm learning what a healthy relationship is. I'm learning what a healthy Robin is.