thanks lexi, you did help
hopefully i can help you a bit more. what i'm gonna say is just my hunch, but if ML is reacting like i did, go ahead & be friends & give her some space. i think she's freaking out a little & needs reassurance from her husband that he still loves her & doesn't love her any less, & she might need reassurance from you that your friendship isn't based on your relationship with JJ. i'm not saying it is, i'm quite sure it isn't, but she might be feeling that. i'm sure she's having a hard time dealing with jealousy, i posted some links to dazed & confused that you might want to send her- wouldn't hurt to read them yourself too, get an idea what might be going on in her head. but do give her some time to acclimate, especially since she's come out as bi, i'm sure she's feeling overwhelmed right now. try doing the "just friends" thing for a while & i believe its quite likely she'll start to feel comfortable with everything again. you never know, something may develop between the 2 of you as well, since you have feelings for her already. i think showing her you respect her feelings will go a long way toward mending your relationships with her & JJ. if she's feeling like i did, she's feeling like her feelings & what she wants doesn't matter, like she's losing something. talk to JJ & work together to reassure her that there will be more love, not less. when you're mindset has been mono all your life, poly is very hard to grasp- its takes a while, i'm still working on that myself. if nothing else, you'll have 2 friends you care deeply about, & that's a wonderful thing. but i truly believe she'll be able to relax & things can get back to what they once were, only better
best wishes & i hope everything works out wonderfully for you all!!