Originally Posted by redpepper
It sounds like her point of view is that you are wrecking her good time with "unloading" your feelings onto her. In my opinion that is just too darn bad. No one ever has their cake and eats it too. At least very rarely in a poly situation.
This is beyond having your cake and eating it too. I personally think that poly already is having your cake and eating it too -- you get to express your ability and desire to love multiple people without the lies, burden and pain of cheating.
This is like... having your cake and eating it too, and then eating your husband's cake with a big shit-eating grin.