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Old 06-06-2010, 08:50 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
This isn't a you problem. This is being a guy problem. And you blame her. If she is meeting her men online mostly, she will want to be very comfortable before meeting. You just don't know, regardless of conversation, what the person on the other end will be like (heck you could be a girl). Pressing the issue will only increase the chance of it not happening. You might need more patience here.
Two months of daily contact is a lot of patience.

I actually operate the exact opposite way: I prefer to chat a couple times online and then meet in person as soon as possible. The reason? You can tell 1000x more about someone in person in 20 minutes than you can in 6 months of emails. Emails are thought-out and planned, you get to tailor them exactly the way you want to be heard. In-person is a lot more ad-lib. Conversation flows... or else it doesn't, and you figure out PDQ that there's no relationship potential.

My most recent confirmation of this was meeting some guy on OKC who seemed really cool. He was poly, interested in physics, seemed open-minded... so we chatted about a month online, and finally met for lunch. Even though he knew we were meeting for lunch, he ate right before coming, and so I was sitting there being the only one eating, feeling really conspicuous. Then when I had the audacity to actually finish all the food I paid for (one regular meal, no desert), he made some snarky comment about "wow, you must have been really hungry" ... I was like, "well no shit, I didn't eat breakfast 20 ago" ... I could have saved myself a month of wasted time by meeting him sooner.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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