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Old 06-06-2010, 06:29 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 2,401

I really hate that kind of arrogant, holier-than-thou attitude. First, I think it's crap to think that any person is better than any other person. So I think it's even more crap to think that being associated with some so-called-lower-person brings you down.

You've got two guys here. One is perfectly willing to share you with whomever makes your heart dance, is kind to you, accepting and not controlling. The other is telling you what to do, who to associate yourself with, questioning your judgement...

I know what I'd do!

Originally Posted by Emaretta View Post
I don't know Mono b/c these same friends talk to my secondary all the time and are his friends. I asked my primary why would they still talk to him if they didn't like him or are they all just being two-faced? And i've known my secondary now for 10 months so I don't think the new thing is still there.
Have these friends said anything negative about your secondary to you, or just to your primary? Is it possible primary's making up the things they're supposedly saying about secondary?

Originally Posted by Emaretta View Post true so true... I've brought this up to him many times when he asks why i want to see my other bf or why i don't get mad at him like i do my primary...and i say it's because he respects my freedom and he knows he doesn't own me. But my primary just sees this as my bf being desperate and just taking what he can get and that he can allow me to have other lovers b/c he doesn't really love me like him.
There's another red flag, saying that the secondary is only dating you because he's desperate -- which sounds to me like he's putting you down, that someone would only go out with you because they're desperate. But if you've got two guys wanting to be with you, then you're obviously very "relationship-worthy."

Actually, it's reminiscent of an abusive personality -- the whole "you can't leave me because no one else would have you" kind of crap. Except, you've already proven that wrong, so he's got to make it sound like this other guy isn't worth anything. But if you have feelings for him, then he's probably worth something to you
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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