Originally Posted by Emaretta
yeah i'm worried of that too. Especially since I think his negative opinions of my secondary are founded in jealousy so why would anyone else be any different? And when I say, ok, let's stay i stop talking to my secondary...and let's say I meet someone next week...then what? And my primary just says well that isn't going to happen...not a good answer i think...
I have a friend who lives in seattle actually that has sent me to their online forum lol
I never got a chance to go to a meet up because my ex was so controlling... It seemed like a lot of fun. While I would always advise you to be careful... the Seattle folks did seemed really nice. They also seemed to be well known in the poly world. As I stated earlier... I had to leave my ex. When I told him of my plans to leave he became violent. I knew then that his jealousy and controlling ways were just warning signs. I don't want to scare you... your guy may not be like my ex. I just want you to really try and figure out if being with him is worth all the stress. I spent the last three years of a four year relationship dealing with a similar man.... in the end I just had to get out. I have no regrets about leaving.. It was hard at first... but now I have an awesome primary and great supportive friends. I'm still new and growing so I can't brag too much...lol. I just don't want you to give up on something that makes you happy because some man tells you 'he knows best'.
be careful and good luck