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Old 06-06-2010, 03:15 AM
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phoenix762 phoenix762 is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 48
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I know my wife, and am trying to be as generous about her as I can, but I've been upfront with her before, to no effect. Now recently she has suspected that I'm searching for another woman, and it has woken her right up. She is doing the best she can to be more affectionate but reaches a barrier.

Yeah. That part sounds familar-the barrier....but the woman's movement, and all, not so much.
Your wife didn't have anything happen to her when she was younger, no? Sexual abuse, something of that nature?
Why does she hate men? I could see her hating A MAN who hurt her, but men in general?

Hear me out here....and so sorry if I am off the mark, if so, just disregard this mess.

I was raised in foster care, and the family who raised us basically ignored us. They gave us the physical essentials, but we were not spoken to (unless reprimanded or told what to do) and it warps your brain. Trust.

No affection, no communication.
Nothing.

Top that off with a friend of the foster family who I thought I trusted sexually molesting me and well...there I had a recipie for disaster.
That's what happened to me, and to this day I am trying to sort out the mess in my head. So...my sex drive is pretty much absent..well, I suspect b/c of trust issues.

I was married twice. Both husbands didn't understand me. I was distant, showed affection either WAY too much or not at all. One extreme to the other. My guess is that I never learned bounderies...considering I was never accustomed to them. Granted, I was in therapy forever on the state of PA's dime....so I do have some insight into why I act the way I do, but....how do you correct it?
Perhaps you can't. I don't know.

I am hoping this does NOT pertain to your wife....but....that part of your comment...it raised a red flag.

I do hope everything works out for you, whatever you decide...
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