Thanks for the insights; I hadn't even realized that I was approaching my search from such a "secondary"-centric point of view until you pointed it out! That is probably an unusual way of going about the process and definitely was causing me to have limits on my thinking. Also, you are right... I should try and be a bit less focused on the belief systems of potential partners. They are likely to be unconcerned with my thoughts on the subject; why should I get hung-up on theirs?
PS: Heading over not to read Pepper's "Nonmonogamy for Men" essay.