Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit
You may want to detach emotionally from his statements about you being 'beneath' some person - i.e. them not being worthy of you. Play the role and just say - ' ok - and if that is correct - what do you (or others) see that maybe I'm missing. Make NO assumptions of accuracy going into this - just be open minded and try to discover what this other perspective may be.
well i could try that but I feel my primary has all the reason in the world to lie about my secondary to make him seem like a douchebag when he isn't. When my primary first told me of something my secondary had done I immediately believed him and went back to confront my secondary. Well he was completely shocked at this and flat out denied any wrong doing and the way the situation was, it made absolutely no sense for my secondary to lie about this. When i went back to my primary asking for the "evidence" he could not provide it. Then when i asked him to reveal who told him the information he refused to reveal any sources. I would think if you busted someone you hate red-handed, you would provide all the evidence in the world to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt what happened. And i know my primary already has the disposition to exagerate stories and flat out lie about stupid things. He also was trying to make me choose between them by saying if i couldn't believe him on his word, then i must be taking my secondary's side. All i said was, give me evidence, or tell me who you spoke to and i will never speak to my secondary again...yet my primary never could do either and since then i've mistrusted anything he said about him.
On another occassion he said how at a party my secondary got drunk and was running his mouth about flirting with me (no one knows i'm in this type of relationship so that would be very harmful if he did so), HOWEVER, before my primary even told me this, I had talked to my secondary who had said the party sucked b/c all the beers he brought in his cooler where gone and he only had one PLUS he was the designated driver that night! And this was just casual conversation. Then i hear my primary saying how he heard from someone there that he was drunk and running his mouth? So, a lot of things my primary says about him, i just have a hard time believing. Plus my secondary knows to respect my privacy in this matter and if it ever got back to me that he had been telling people my personal business, i would cease to see him. So it's really hard for me to listen to my primary go on and on about all these issues with my secondary when i really think he's just saying them to make him look like a villian...and i think at this point, he honestly believes the lies himself. He's brainwashed himself into thinking what a horrible man he his and just refuses to look at him with new eyes.