Originally Posted by Emaretta
But my primary is saying how he sees this guy as "below" him and that i'm so out of his league and it's embarrassing to him knowing he's sharing me with this low-life. My primary swears he will totally consider an open relationship if we can have a clean slate and i get rid of this other guy and we can start fresh.
I had a somewhat similar problem with my ex a few years ago... I wanted a poly life. He said he was okay with it. For years I waited in vain. My ex kept saying that it wasn't the right time and we need to find someone new that he liked. The problem with my ex was he didn't like anyone... no matter how great or attractive they were. I found out later that he was using it as an excuse to keep me from going out and meeting new people. We lived in Seattle for a while and there was an awesome poly meet up group.. nothing nasty or shady at all. It was set up for young and old.. families w/ kids and just random people. They would have potlucks and talk about poly life issues and also just sit around drinking coffee and having a good time. I tried to get my guy to go to a meeting with me. He never would... he said the people were all freaks and he didn't trust them. When I told him I would go alone he would freak out and say that we were supposed to be "in this together"... I couldn't win. I ended up breaking up with him. He never wanted anything to do with any man (or woman) I met and was into... even if I didn't like them in a special way. He would complain about them saying that even if I were friends with them it would grow into more... and he told me not to see them again or he would just get really moody and mad if I hung with them. I'm not saying this is what your guy is doing... but make sure you talk with him and try to find out if he really wants the poly life w/ you... or if he is just saying he does so you won't leave him. I hope he just doesn't like this one guy... as bad as sounds... but at least then you know you CAN find another partner if you want to.