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Old 06-05-2010, 03:15 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,634
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Haha, yes I'm female catbird. Female and dominant for sure. Mono is enough of a sub for me at the moment however. Well him and a couple of others in a casual way.
I like what you say about being generous. It reminds me of the "relationship theory" thread. Maybe you will find it useful?

I understand what you are saying about your wife thinking she is emtionally immune. My mother has in the past also. We had a huge blow out this past fall when we came out to her that has moved her out of that a bit. She realized that she is not a good communicator as a result and is now looking to us for books and chats about how to communicate. We have been studying and practicing "non-violent communication" (lots written about that in the communication thread).

My mum is a social worker and thinks that our lifestyle is harmful to our child. She still hovers over us waiting to say "I told you so." lots written about that on the "redpepper needs help" thread.

I hope some threads will help (sorry they all relate to me, there are many other really good ones if you do a search) in terms of helping your wife understand how sometimes closing ones mind off from change leaves you in the past when everyone else is in the future.

My mum struggles right now to catch up to what has been happening in the world as far as relationship dynamics are concerned. The light bulb went off when we came out, or shortly after when we weren't talking to one another, and now there is no way but learn and grow or stay in the past and feel like an old woman who is out of sync. Her new growth is making her feel young and vibrant again as she has learned from those that are younger and benefitting from her hard work as an activist.

We all have so much to learn from one another don't we, no matter what the age.

Because I hardly ever hear appreciation for those who have gone before in terms of the work they have done to make life easier for me and more just, I just want to say thank you to all the women, and right now your wife, who have put themselves out there the best way they knew how. *hugs* *cheers* and thank you.
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