Originally Posted by rpcrazy
I guess that's my point...doesn't team "us" involve me(or you in your case) as well?
variables include A, B
-a wants poly
-b wants poly
-b is ok with a being poly
-a isn't ok with b being poly
In your scenario, a + b = AB
So how is that supposed to work out? You said you're a team, but then you say to F symmetry at the same time. Doesn't make sense to me
Team "us" has a lot more to it than poly fairness.
Basically, say in scenario A, we're straight monogamous. And let's say we're each enjoying 50 units of overall happiness, as measured by our iPhone Happiness Meter app.
Now, in Scenario B, we're both poly. So now I'm up to 55 happiness units, but even though Wifey likes having boyfriends, my adventures stress her out in a big way, such that she's down to 44 units overall. Team "us" has just lost 1 unit of happiness.
So then there's scenario C, where Wifey's poly and I'm mono. I still benefit from Wifey's adventures (both directly via my "kink" and indirectly by her happiness and gratitude), so maybe I'm up to 52 units. And Wifey's a kid in a candy store up there at 54 units (maybe she would have been at 55 like I was, but she feels a little guilty about the asymmetry.)
By not keeping score, not only has team "us" gained 6 units of happiness, we're both individually happier than in scenario A, even though maybe I'm not as happy as I could theoretically be if I was willing to make Wifey less happy.
It's your basic no-brainer.