Oh lordy. Okay, this is the gf here. Where to start ...
The "maybe I shouldn't have" thing -- I never actually said that; what I said was "I feel weird about having done that", because I didn't know I had it in me. I didn't know I was that kind of person. And also because part of me is uncomfortable with that in a very vague way which I don't personally understand yet. I would definitely not undo what I did. I had a ton of fun and I'm learning from it. For example, I'm learning that I'm not fully comfortable sleeping with people I've just met, and I should think a bit before going with the very sexy flow. I also learned that if I smoke 6 cigarettes at a party I get a nasty cold. And I learned what a yeast infection smells like. All useful things.
The reason I didn't tell DD about the stuff with Boston D was ..... I had no idea what was going to happen ahead of time, but more importantly it wasn't his decision. My body, my friends, my fun, my consequences, my decision, he doesn't get a vote. Similarly, if he had told or asked me not to sleep with my ex up there, I would have completely ignored him, because my relationship with someone else is not something that DD gets a say on. I do in fact value that autonomy more than any relationship. I realize that may be a rather contentious statement -- "fightin' words", you might say -- so please remember that I'm a 19-year-old bi-lesbian college student with codependency and intimacy issues, and this death-grip on my autonomy is simply what I think is appropriate for me.
Interestingly, I had a conversation this weekend with D in Boston about polyamory versus an open relationship that summed up to the statement "It ain't poly if you're just fucking around". Because polyamory is multiple LOVES, multiple emotionally invested relationships.
I'm ..... not sure what else I should comment on ....... I'll field questions, I guess?
Last edited by DD123; 06-03-2010 at 02:12 AM.