Thread: very confused
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Old 06-02-2010, 11:01 PM
jkelly jkelly is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: San Francisco, CA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dazedandlost View Post
i guess that im addicted to her
While I'm sure that this sounds romantic to a lot of people, your writing this after emphasising earlier how she is your whole life makes it sound to me like there is something not all that healthy about your dynamic. You'd probably feel better right now if you spend some time figuring out who you are and what your life is outside of your relationship.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dazedandlost View Post
so do i just be the subservient man and let her run?
Er, this is a strange way of describing a (non-D/s) relationship. Do you see yourself as engaged in some sort of struggle for dominance in your relationship? Your partner should be your best ally, and you should be hers.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dazedandlost View Post
about a week ago i was giventhe ultimatum to get over my jealousy or get out. well ihavent gotten over it yet and im still here.
Well, this is clear, but not very helpful. I mean, it should be a clear message that something about your behaviour right now is doing catastrophic damage to your relationship (which is exactly the thing you don't want to happen). But it is a lot easier to say to someone "get over your jealousy" than it is do it. And it really isn't too much to expect that she should be your first and best resource for working through your insecurity.

She's your partner because she wants to be with you. You clearly want to be with her. Try to dial down the stuff that's damaging the relationship, ask for her help in having sane, quiet conversations on where your insecurities are, explore who you are besides just being her partner, and have some faith that you can get to a place where the relationship is going to work well again.
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