Originally Posted by Anne
Now, my questions is: Can there exist the wish to live a polyamorous life which is not linked to a special person? In other words, do people feel like "oh, Iīd like to have another partner, letīs get out and find one?"
I always thought that itīs like in my case: First, there are the specific people, and then thereīs the relationship. How wrong am I?
Hi Anne. I came into polyamory when I met a man who introduced me to it. I had been single for two years, so I was definitely not opening up an established relationship. I had always felt very strongly that I was a loyal, faithful partner and never entertained the idea of an open relationship, cheating, more than one partner - none of it, so I was very hesitant.
Over time I came to realize just how poly I am and always have been. Not because I necessarily desire another partner, but because it's how I'm wired and I love the lifestyle. I love so many people in so many different ways. I can love people without wanting to be with them and without being in
love. I need the freedom to love as much as my heart wants to. Poly allows me to explore grey areas with people that would be inappropriate in a monogamous relationship.
There are subtleties and dynamics that I have grown to love about being poly. In groups, I like to flitter over and connect with someone and then flitter over to someone else and connect with that person. And then come back to my love(s) all rejuvenated and full of love.
Compersion, for me, is sometimes more fulfilling than being in love. My love for a partner extends into my metamours and I feel bonded with them.
I like being part of a "tribe" or a family. Relationships can be challenging and when you have a solid group of mature, honest, communicative people, the amount of support there is for all involved multiplies. I care a lot about what happens in the other relationships and feel motivated to support them.
So, yes it's definitely possible for polamoury to develop outside of the scenario you've experienced.