well had a long talk with k last nite. i still have the feeling that she is not being honest with me, and more importantly with herself. after a long discussion i am still confused about where she wants her new relationship to go. she says its just for fun, but its hard to think that its all for fun and its just friendship. its hard to comprehend when they use the "i love you" phrase when texting each other. i have told her that she needs to do some soul searching to figure out what she wants in her life. the answer i get is always the same when i ask her what she wants. she says that she wants to stay with me im am her true love and she does not want to leave our life. part of me thinks the only reason she stays is because of the kids. am i over thinking this? i know that part of my problem is the insecurity that she will leave. thats an issue that im dealing with everyday. part of me feels that this was all just dumped on me and im suppose to deal with it and be ok. part of me feels that im expected to stay home with our little ones and take care of them while shes out having fun with h for a weekend. i know that if this is goig to work that i have to learn to share. but i must admit that i am selfish when i comes to k's heart. in short i guess that im addicted to her, the way she makes me feel, her scent, her touch. sorry just kinda babbling again. i have so much goin thru my mind that its hard to put it in order. i think that the not knowing part is the worst. and knowing that what i, we, have worked so long and hard to get might fall apart. so do i just be the subservient man and let her run? or do i put my foot down and risk all that we have? at this point im not sure. perhaps i am over thinking all of this. maybe i should keep quiet and see what happens. i still dont know what h wants out of their relationship. i havent been allowed into that communication loop yet, even though i have stated the want to get to know him. guess i should be thankful that h doesnt live closer. sorry that i rambled. thank you for any insight or advice.
Last edited by racer812; 06-02-2010 at 04:41 PM.