I personally don't see how this forum should be chalked up to being against casual sex.. I think some people are and that is fine, that is their thoughts and opinions. But to chalk up a whole forum to being against it, come on! That's a bit much
Any opinion I have would be based on my own experiences and the results of them. For me the whole casual sex thing is a "been there, done that" thing that I do not regret. I regret who I hurt along the way, including myself.
There are times when casual sex is not the best idea because it could do more harm than the fun it can be.
I would suggest that in the case you are talking about DD123, you had your feelings hurt and perhaps she could of approached it differently. She was excited about it and didn't tell you she was going to? This didn't just come up, it was arranged and she didn't tell you it sounds like. She didn't tell you, by the sounds of it, because she thought you might object to her having a threesome. That to me is not responsible. Poly to me is based in responsible non-monogamy, it has it's roots there. Use the poly term as you will to feeling loving in casual sex, but being irresponsible is just plain irresponsible and perhaps why she feels like a slut in a negative sense. She chose to avoid being honest... I remember doing that and it made me feel like a slut too.
I love feeling like a slut personally. In the fun yet dirty sense. But when I do, it's because I have done what I can to make sure that in the moment of slutness I have been empathetic, forthcoming with information on what I am about to do and don't go beyond the bounds that in my gut make me realize I will hurt someone. If I find myself going beyond what has been previously agreed upon by my loves, then it means I have to tell them and face the repercussion... to me that isn't worth it and fucking can wait. There will always be another moment.
This is a learning process for her and I am glad you are being patient. It sounds like she could have a lot of fun, I hope next time she takes what she has learned and is more responsible in her approach to the ones that she wants to have sex with and more responsible to you and your relationship.
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