Thread: new problem...
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Old 06-02-2010, 02:21 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Originally Posted by Mariya View Post
When I was married and we were poly, I made it a point to try to at least let my husband's girls meet me or have some correspondence ahead of time so they knew that I was in on it, I was ok with it, and really that he wasn't just some guy lying to them to cheat on his wife. I saw no problem with doing this nor would I have had any issue with him doing the same. I didn't always bring it up to him, but honestly..I never thought about whether or not I should. It seemed more like that was my creation of a relationship and bond with that girl, it wasn't just about him and her but was about me and her as well. I can see where it might bother some people..but the question I would ask is what could you possibly mess up for him if he's being 100% honest with both of you? Maybe that's my paranoid side talking and he just wants his privacy about the matter, but it would make me wonder a bit.
I agree with this post. I echoes my thoughts on the topic. Although I would be wary of approaching too fast. I think the pace you have set is just fine so far it seems. She knows you exists and that you are already in his life and are willing to get to know her as he is interested in her. That is what it's all about to me. Everyone knowing each other.

I would suggest that perhaps your man had the response he did due to mono conditioning where our culture says if you are interested in another woman then you should keep it too yourself and never the twain shall meet. A momentary lapse as he felt threatened and perhaps a bit guilty and then realized that it's all good and in fact better you know her.

I would still suggest that you make sure you back off and let them take their own course now though. Nothing worse than a medaling metamour (not that you are, but could be seen as such)... heehee, made up a new term!
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