Thread: Is this for me?
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Old 06-02-2010, 09:16 AM
skyjewel skyjewel is offline
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 5
Default Is this for me?

As I mentioned in my earlier intro, I was led to this website by a co-member in a skydiving website that I belonged to. The suggestion was made in response to a post I made. Here's my story:

I've only had 4 relationships (including current) so far. Out of those 4, only one was with a guy and that was 10 years ago. Since I've have not felt any attraction to any other male after that first one, I pretty much considered myself a lesbian. A feminine lesbian attracted to feminine girls. I'm now 34, living with my girlfriend for almost 7 years now. We haven't been intimate for almost 3 years. We both know we have a good-but-not-great relationship. Maybe it was a mistake for both of us to settle for good & comfortable instead of seeking great & happy. Our differences seemed to have intensified over the years and we're at a point where we're both aware that it's no longer working.

About two months ago, I did my first skydive and ended up enrolling the course. Out of nowhere, I found myself instantly attracted to a male instructor. Just like that. Why now? I don't know. The attraction was so intense that I looked forward to weekends when I knew I'd be seeing his face at the dropzone. I have no intention of doing anything about it because #1, I'm still in a relationship, well, sort of, and #2, he is in a relationship and his girlfriend is a friend of mine and I respect both of them. I don't cross those lines. I'm shocked, surprised, almost mad at myself but I've realized and accepted what I it meant: I'm bisexual.

Should I just stay away from relationships after this one? Obviously, I can't be with a girl if I get attracted to guys, and I definitely can't be with a guy without thinking of girls. This is hard for me because I am non-promiscuous, I love sex but I only have sex with the person I'm in a relationship with. It will also be frustrating because I take a lot of pleasure loving a partner. I've always been the top but I've fantasized about somebody topping me. I've thought about how it would be like to be topped by a guy and how it would feel to pleasure a guy.

...And that's when somebody told me to look into this website. I've read so much about this since then. Surprisingly, I found myself wondering not only about a triad between 1 man and 2 women but also about 2 men and one woman.

For now, I'm not looking to be in a relationship until I figure this out. I'll be lurking around for a while and I'm sure I'll have a lot of questions eventually. If I can't find the answers in any of the threads, you'll be hearing from me!
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