Thanks for clarifying. I guess to me the idea of going at the pace of the one most struggling refers to "over all." not specifics such as sex and birthday plans. For instance, when nerdist struggled with my going off in the middle of the night after a date with our then triad member. Then it was a huge deal and he struggled to realize that I wasn't cheapening the time we had together. Now, likely he wouldn't bat an eye if I asked for that. I didn't go at the pace he needed emotionally and hurt him several times during that time period. It wasn't okay to do that for my selfish reasons and NRE. There is plenty of time and everything doesn't need to be donw now. That is all I am saying with it really.
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