Your right I really need a good spanking. I finally figured out a way to get to the truth of my DH's feelings about me looking for another relationship.
I told him I had met someone locally online and that we had a "meeting" for tuesday night. I said I was concerned with how he would cope with me being out with someone else. I asked if he had read this forum and he said no. I told him that often times the partner left behind feels jealous and possibly sad or like they weren't enough. He said he would feel like this is what he deserved for not being enough. That he would feel like all those things, including terrified I would leave him. I asked him if he could cope with this and he said he felt he had to.
I told him there was no one and no meeting. That I felt he wouldn't truly tell me his feelings unless he was faced with it. That I had told him I wouldn't move forward and wasn't without him in good standing. He said he could see having a girlfriend but not a man. He asked me not to pursue anything. I said I was good with it. However, I would like to revisit it in the future.
I appreciate your help.