Is your communication with your husband otherwise good? Do you feel that he's able and willing to hear you and appreciate your expressed desires and needs, generally?
Does he clearly express his own desires, fears, hopes...?
How do you generally respond to these?
You say he has put up a "wall" on this subject. How does this "wall" feel to you? Can you tell him how that "wall" feels?
Maybe the two of you can create a small window in that wall, working together by allowing him to keep his wall up, only with a small window in it. Maybe you could say "Hey, I see we have a wall on this subject, and I want to respect your need for a wall, but I need you to try to open a window in the wall, however small."
A window opening can eventually become a doorway, over time. But that'll be more likely if you don't seem to threaten his need to maintain a wall. If you respect his wall, he may be more willing to open a window.
Last edited by River; 07-23-2009 at 10:49 PM.