Originally Posted by dazedandlost
she has no plans to stop contact with him. how do the men handle the roller coaster? sorry i just kinda rambled, but i dont really have anybody to ask for advice.
First of all, the bad news. Yeah, the roller coaster sucks. You aren't crazy, that hurting is actually hurting. Also, there is a chance that your wife might leave you. This also really sucks.
Now, with that said, there is a lot of good news.
First of all, communication is going to be helpful. It sounds like you are making some good progress there. Even though they aren't poly, there are a lot of good books on communication out there.
Second, and this is only slightly less important. Find hobbies that don't involve your wife and do them. Make sure that when your wife is out with her new "significant other(SO)" that you are doing something. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard of someone who sat and stewed in their own jealousy and insecurity and when their wife/GF/whatever came home it was really messy. It doesn't have to be poly. I've heard of people who boat, write, I even know some people that use hitting people with sticks as a way to keep busy. The trick is to have a balance between knowing what you are feeling and not letting what you are feeling eat you up inside.