wow, awesome points! Thanks for the mono points too...!
Saudade, "going at the pace of the one struggling the most" is not really referring to people who meet and agree to become involved. It's more to do with existing relationships that experience issues along the way. I totally agree that to meet, suggest a merge (
for want of a better term this late at night) and then working towards that is what happens generally, but the idea of pacing is to do with anyone that comes along with that merge. That is where it is suggested that the pace be slowed to allow for the change to morph and grow into something sustainable. The problem arises when someone doesn't care about sustainability or thinks it's someone else's problem and is unwilling to allow communication or hasn't slowed down enough to consider the wake they cause by doing/acting/saying whatever it is that is causing the issue...
hope that makes sense.
I forget where my numbers are at, so I am abandoning them....next point for me is.
- everyone in poly community tends to know each other eventually or pretty close... we are not a large population. It becomes really important to be wary of that sometimes and remember people talk, gossip happens and a whole lot of figuring each other out.