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Old 05-31-2010, 05:22 AM
saudade saudade is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 139
Default Expanding on Ariakas's point

I'm with Ari on this one, without being against LR/PolyGrrl (the author of the post being referenced). I've been in situations like Ari's concerned about, where the person who is the most sensitive drives the group and makes the majority uncomfortable, and won't compromise or even acknowledge that everyone else is bending over backwards. It's rough stuff for everyone (except perhaps the person who's stopped up the works), and it's what keeps me from supporting the "go at the pace of the weakest member" strategy in general.

The poly community, at least in its talk (if not its walk), tends to be better than most about acknowledging that the person with an issue needs to own up to it: "Here's the context for why that triggered me. I want you to hear that I feel this way, and then when I'm calm I want to talk about next steps." I think that makes us awesome!

Also, Autumnal: I'm curious to hear more about your issue with the blog poster. What about it don't you think will work for everyone? (I've already admitted that I'm with Ariakas that it's not a perfect post, so the concern is largely philosophical.) I'd love to hear specifics, if you're willing to share.

Edit: This is my hundredth post on here! ::throws confetti::
"I was thorough when I looked for you, and I feel justified lying in your arms." - Chasing Amy

Last edited by saudade; 05-31-2010 at 05:23 AM. Reason: It's my hundredth post, and I just noticed!
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