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Old 05-31-2010, 04:17 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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Default cowboys and cowgirls in poly relationship tribes.

I have recently come across the term "cowboys/girls." Having done a bit of research, I didn't find much. My poly friend who is also in a long term family type tribe, here in the city I live in, suggested this was the terms meaning,

"The idea of there being people who are cowboys or cowgirls or poachers. People who ride into a herd of poly people and lasso one and try to pull them away from their poly tribe."

She went on to say that it was this such of woman, in her case, that she believes contributed to the break up of her and her LDR in another city. Apparently she came into the group and through lack of communication she managed to cause a rift between members of the tribe and issues arouse that made it difficult for her boyfriend to continue dating my friend so it ended in heartbreak.

When I made my own search I found on www.aphroweb.net a definition that says,

"Somebody who figures that these alternative relationships are unstable, and consciously or unconsciously tries to pull one of the partners off into a monogamous relationship with themselves. References "cutting a filly out of the herd."

I suppose that there are similarities in definition in that someone comes into a tribe and disrupts its harmony by trying to pull a member towards them. If there is no veto being laid down then I suppose if there is NRE, and lack of concern for harmony then this could easily happen. The thing is, how does one know and what can one do about it, if anything before it becomes too late? I fear this for our wonderful budding family tribe (which is doing well by the way, don't read into anything here folks! ).

Does anyone have any thoughts, opinions, experiences?
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