Originally Posted by poiyt
We are also charting to avoid. Neither of us like hormonal birth control for a variety of reasons. We are looking into getting sponges as an option as well as condoms. No the current situation isnt the best - but really..how many times can condoms fail..they are supposed to have a 97% success rate, so why would they not work for one specific person...yk?
While it may seem like using condoms is pretty straight-forward, they aren't adequate enough for everyone. "Smaller" men may experience slippage, they might not be getting applied properly, other medications that you're taking may weaken the latex... Intercourse is not required to conceive, especially if you're both very virile. If the male gets very excited, there can be a large amount of pre-ejaculate which can make its way onto the outside of the condom.
Don't know where you're getting the 97%, but the stats I'm reading say 12-15% failure rate, as high as 36% with teenagers.
If you're having this much trouble with them and you aren't willing to use hormonal methods, I would at least take a family trip to the local sex clinic and sit down with a nurse to learn proper application and how to minimize risks.
Of course, there's another more devious possibility. I had a friend whose boyfriend was "spiking" the condoms, i.e. poking holes through the package, because he wanted a baby and she didn't. Of course that's a horrible thing to do and the first thing you're going to say is "my husband would never do that" but if you're having a 75% failure rate with a device that's supposed to be 85% effective, then something is clearly amiss.