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Old 05-29-2010, 04:27 AM
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sage sage is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 632
Question Things you've learned as a mono

Nice post. Good for us monos to hear someone expressing things that I'm sure we all go through.

One thing you didn't talk about was fear. Fear of the future is just starting to come up for me. My partner's secondary relationship has so far been sensual rather than sexual (at her insistence). He has never even called himself polyamorous, it was me, seeking a way to make sense of his other relationship that stumbled on polyamory. As I have accepted the relationship it has grown and i am somewhat fearful of where it could end up. I am working at acknowledging and accepting the fear and as you say if you really love someone you will get through anything. I suppose the thing I fear most is that as his relationship with her grows we may lose the specialness of what we have together because our relationship might become diluted.

I know the belief is that more love enlarges the heart and creates more love but I would like to hear from anyone who has found that a secondary relationship ended up bringing down the primary one.

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