I have experienced something of what you say rpc in the lesbian community. Man it's changed since I was lesbian identified for 10 years in the 90's, early 2000's. For me back then it was not cocks allowed ever, so lesbians would hide that they still desired men and now a lot of them are married to men and have kids... longing for women again. Ahem, like I did, luckily for me I stayed true to my non-monogamous nature and have never identified as monogamous since coming out of my marriage to my ex-wife. Nerdist joined our relationship back in the day, that is how I met him....
Anyways, in terms of the discussion at hand, I would be very careful to express my desire for one of Nerdists partners. I know if Nerdist was falling for Derby I would be very uncomfortable and a little put off... what women have together is different. A different type of depth and connection all together. Not just because different people are involved, but different hormones entirely. Adding male hormones to that changes things drastically. I would be very cautious about opening that up. I have learned this from adding Nerdist to the marriage I had with my ex-wife.
When I was a lesbian I had a different body. I literally had a different level of hormones going through me than I do now. I find it hard to explain, but as soon as cum entered my body and I was in the presence intimately with a man my body changed... that hormonal energy is there with Derby and that is precious to me. It's what has been missing in my life. Perhaps your wife feels like this.
When I have been involved with my tersiary lover (he is only tersiary sexually, not in my heart) and nerdist there is a distinct male hormonal energy as they have sex, as it has been in threesomes with Mono and Nerdist, even if they were not involved sexually. It's completely different than womens hormonal energy. I revel in it and roll around in that male energy, so to speak and for what it is...
I totally get, from this stand point that your wife is not interested in you messing with the energy that is between her and her girlfriend and really, I think at some point she might even get cranky with you bringing it up. At least I would.
Maybe this just isn't going to fly at all and you need to go and find someone that you can invest in on your own. That wouldn't be so bad would it? As you say, you are a changed man and perhaps have a whole range of things to offer another woman.
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