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Old 07-23-2009, 06:33 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,718

I feel for you my friend. I was lesbian identified for ten years and when I met my now husband it rocked my world to the very core.

I was very much the butch in my last long term female relationship and he came into that so that we were three. It didn't last, as she wasn't into poly and still isn't, though to me, we have a poly relationship with her, minus the sex. I wouldn't ever tell her that, she is quite adament that it is just plain wrong.

Anyway, I lost a few friends because of meeting my husband and had similar responses. It got worse when we lost our other and she melted back into the lesbian world again. There was a lot of protection of her because they saw it as my having cheated and leaving her for a man. I was very hurt and realized how disillusioned I was.

I realize now that I was hanging out with some conservative lesbians who were a tad old school and very threatened by men in their old school feminist up bringing. I realized that no matter what the sexuality there are always conservative minded people around other peoples sexuality and lifestyle choices. Just because they were lesbians and seemingly living an unconventional life didn't mean they hadn't found their own conventionality within it!

Not only that, lesbian culture is very against using a real penis for having sex. I know my friends and I were. I distinctly remember saying that we thought they were gross. I wonder if there isn't a bit of threat there.

Maybe it's jealousy. I have female to male friends who would be jealous of a mans penis.... maybe that is where it comes from.

Perhaps also they want to try a penis on for size themselves and are jealous that you have.

Yup, I wouldn't take it on.... sounds like it may be unrelated to you at all and all about them, whatever the reason.
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