As for 1)...well, there are a lot of threads here that discuss that very issue. Some threads provide good insights on what NOT to do, while others provide insights on what works for people.
For 2)...hmm, I'm not aware of any discussions on how to add more people to lives that are reallyreally busy, though there are far too many threads here for me to know them all. River seems to be really busy and he and his partner found somebody they both bonded with, so maybe he'll find this thread and point to a discussion on the topic.
Although I'll work long weeks when it's necessary, I really much prefer to do most of my living away from the workplace. So, while I try to stay reasonably busy, that makes for a much more flexible schedule, I think, and doesn't speak directly to your question.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.