We're a gay couple M/M and happily married -- or should I say it with fingers wagging "married" -- for 35 years. One's 60 and one's 55. We have always considered the possibility of finding a 3rd or 4th or more to join us but have always found ourselves to be used by the other person (we're not wealthy but we are comfortable and we've busted our buns to achieve that). The one other time we considered it (outside of being used), it was someone we both love very much but just wasn't the right fit emotionally.
How can 2 responsible gay men who do almost nothing but work find a good fit in a third person? We have always worked together and always will so we're together day and night. We're veterans. We have college degrees. We have pets. We love our small town life here in West KY.
I guess I have two questions:
1. How do those of you with experience in all things poly deal with the much more complex interactions that a poly relationship carries with it? I would imagine that open, honest communication is even more key to success than it is in a mono relationship. I always say the secret of a successful relationship is: Love, Trust, Communication.
2. Is actively seeking out a third an exercise is frustration or futility? Is it a silly concept? We know the right person will enrich our individual lives and our single life together. (we really are almost one whole person at this point) It's difficult for most people to the find the perfect one person....what are the chances of finding the perfect second for us?