I've read all of your posts about your prospective girlfriend and I suggest that you let her go. I understand that you and your husband really desire to find a woman to share your life and love with. And, I also know how hard that is to find. But- that is no reason to ignore the red flags when they come up. Within 2 or 3 meetings, you can tell if a person is financially responsible and self sufficient, honest, emotionally mature and dependable etc.
When we choose to ignore the signs which show up within the first several meetings, then we are to blame for ignoring them and moving forward.
I would suggest that you remain open for meeting someone else and this time, focus on your list of qualities. When you see that the person doesn't embody the most important ones, let the person go. It's easier to let them go after the 2nd meeting than it is 6 months to a year down the road.
The key to life is in being fully engaged and peacefully detached simultaneously and authentically in each moment.