Hi Leslie - welcome to the boards. The feelings of insecurity you are feeling are normal, especially when you are new to polyamory. My husband of 14+ years has had a girlfriend for more than a year and I still struggle with insecurity. You will have good days and you will have bad days. Eventually the bad days do become fewer and farther between. Different people will have different ideas of how to diminish those feelings. One very wise woman on here - LovingRadiance - has recently posted some great advice on my blog. On the main page, click on Life Stories and Blogs. Mine is called KT's Blog. I have struggled with insecurity a lot - and have been given some great advice and support on here! I'm sure you will too!