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Old 05-25-2010, 04:17 PM
whoKnows whoKnows is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2009
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
You have valid concerns about wanting to keep your private life safe.

I'm not surprised that she's looking for men in the same place she met you. People stick with what they know and with what works.

Good to hear that you've found a way that makes you both comfortable.

Would you be willing to share what compromise you found, to help others in a similar situation?
As a little bit of background, my wife likes the thrill of the chase & that's why it would be wrong for me to take away the idea of her hooking up with guys in a bar. To me my wife is the most beautiful girl in the world & I'm not sure how she ended up with me But the guys she goes for are not players, they tend to be the geeky guys who are too shy to approach girls. She likes that attention but she also has a beautiful heart & likes to bring something new to their lives, make them a little bit more confident.

Our agreement in the end was something like this -

-No hook ups with anyone in any of the bars in our local area. We put a 20 mile radius on our house, as a no play zone

-We agreed to being able to go out & hook up with someone once a month, that way it's known beforehand so that we don't stress about it every time one of us is out.

-We are going to try the idea of meeting people online, but I suspect this isn't a solution

-When we hang out with friends/family etc. we give the impression we are Monogamous

Plus some of the usual rules -

-No hook ups during times when we are arguing
-Safe sex
-No past boyfriends/girlfriends

I think that's about it, are rules are always fluid & we tend to re-visit them every few months to see how things are going.
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