One thing I have heared a few times here and there - mainly from the ethical slut and a couple times my gf - is owning your own feelings. only higher power knows what his day was like leading up to the wet pants event. maybe he got his junk caught in his zipper or something and was already in a pissy mood. Im gonna be a little psycho-analytical and say that he has some misdirected anger issues. in my opinion-wet pants has nothing to do with you and has everything to do with how the dryer works and his temper towars the dryer not doing its job.
Im also going to go out on a limb and say that you should NOT seek your oun sence of self worth and validation through someone else. my gf and I have talked about something like this and her "primary" relationship is with herself, just like my "primary" relationship is with myself. We havne to be secure in ourselves before we can enrich eachother. And we do enrich eachother, we DONT put the other down.
I do agree with SCat: that it doesn't sound like he respects you and appreciates you....Maybe you veed to seek out someone that does appreciate you regardless of weather his pants are wet or not
chear up babe