Originally Posted by Honestheart
a question in SchrodingersCat 's first post to this thread "If you are already making yourself happy, why would you want to date someone else(in a poly or monogamous context)? "
That was DB's question, posed in response to my statement that you need to find happiness in yourself and not in your relationships.
I'm also going to touch on the "spiritual ideas" that are coming up in this thread.
In Buddhism (at least the form that I've studied), it's not love and happiness that you reject, it's not even desires. It's attachment to
earthly desires. In other words, you reject allowing external circumstances (relationships, living arrangements, the government in power) to control your emotions.
The ultimate goal of Buddhism is to share enlightenment with everyone, out of a sense of love for everyone. It urges us not to love one person more than the other. But it does not do this by telling us to stop loving anyone, but rather to start loving everyone. To not see some people as friends, some as enemies, and some indifferently... but to see everyone as being worthy of compassion and love.