Originally Posted by Mohegan
Maybe he is a serial cheater. But I think it is more that to him sex is sex and love is love and they do not need to meet. We have been discussing a poly lifestyle for yrs. But it seems like everytime I get to a point of trusting him and being okay with it, I find out he cheated.
For some people, I wonder if they just think cheating is better than being honest about it, because being honest about it means they'll have to live up to your expectations, stay within your boundaries. I hear a lot of women say "I don't mind if he sees her, but no sex until I'm more comfortable with it." And that is 100% valid and justified. But from that man's perspective, it means they can't have sex. Whereas if they avoid the whole honesty thing and just have an affair, they get to have sex.
They probably assume they'll get away with it so it won't hurt you, and they'll get to have their cake and eat it too.
Originally Posted by ak2381
He has mentioned he doesn't mind me having a gf as long as he gets to watch, lol. Men! (no offense guys!)
*barf* Yech. Blargh.
So he gets to have whatever kind of relationship he wants, but if you want the same thing, no dice? Gimme a BREAK!
This kind of attitude just pisses me off. It makes it sound like your husband sees women as sex objects, created solely for his personal arousal and satisfaction. Which explains why he cheats so freely - doesn't respect you or the other women he sleeps with. Objectifies them.
I'm not usually much of a feminist, except when confronted with blatant misogyny like this!