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Old 05-24-2010, 10:54 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187

Originally Posted by DharmaBum23 View Post
Question in regards to fundamental state? Does that mean that it is unchanging?
In my experience, it's always available, though I won't attest to it necessarily being unchanging.

If so, how does one obtain it if one doesn't already have it?
I suspect there is no single fashion by which one can find one's joy. I can't say that the manner in which I found mine would work for anybody at random.

If it isn't unchanging, how can dating not threaten to diminish if not destroy it? A considerable amount of our music and literature in western civilization is devoted to how painful love and dating can be. If happiness as a state can be gained or lost, if anything would do it, I would put dating in the top 10.
I'll offer that experiencing fundamental joy as part of one's self doesn't preclude feeling sorrow or pain--at least, it hasn't for me.

I have to admit my bias here. I don't think that any state(happiness, sadness, whatever) is at all unchanging from moment to moment. From my experience, happiness can stay around for awhile, but eventually it will fade. Just like sadness.
Perhaps we're simply speaking of different things, then. Once I found my joy, my happiness, it's always been present. The frustration and fleeting sorrow of missed connections, and even the grief of a relationship ending, haven't removed the joy that underlies my existence. Even now, with long-term unemployment removing my sense of security and shaking my confidence in my value as a worker, I still feel that undercurrent of happiness in the waters of my subconscious.

As the Beatles sang in *Across the Universe*: "Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my open mind, possessing and caressing me." I can always feel the waves of joy, even when in the midst of a pool of sorrow.
When speaking of various forms of ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.

Last edited by NeonKaos; 05-24-2010 at 10:58 PM. Reason: quote formatting
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