Welcome to the forum!
I think you're on the right track, but as Ariakas said you have to make sure that you have a healthy relationship with hubby. I think it's great that you have realized what the issues are and are taking the right steps to rectify them. Like AT, I'm concerned that hubby isn't going to be completely honest with you. Part of this lifestyle is having conversations that aren't always comfortable but are necessary. There have been a few times when conversations had to be put on hold because someone needed to process things before they could go on. That's ok so long as you go back to the convo later on.
I suggest taking things slow as you both have been hurt and need time to heal before you can bring someone else in. Especially in a poly sense as opposed to just a playmate.
Live life to the fullest 'cause you never know if you're gonna wake up tomorrow!